[writing] Be gentle, it's my first book

So I am now at the point where some people are reaidng my first draft to let me know what they think of it.

Oh god, I am consumed with self-doubt. I no longer know whether the story is good or not. The act of sending bits of it away for other people to read has sucked all the confidence right out of me. I am reading it again now and cringing a bit at all the crappy word choices, the cliched characterization, the clunky by-the-numbers plot, oh god, why did I think I could do this?

Or, I am serenely confident that whatever shortcomings the text may have at this point can be solved in editing, and I share surely get an offer from some publishing house that will snag me a terrific agent who will come with me, hand in hand, down the long years of my distinguished career.

Really. There doesn't seem to be any room between these two poles, but I am trying to just be calm and wait it out. One of my readers seems to be enjoying things. I am just trying to go on writing, so that they don't lynch me when we get to the end of what I have done and they are forced to wait on my slow-ass, uhm, ass.

Actually I done good today, five pages and counting. Go me!